I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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