The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
