You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
