he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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