Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize