He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
