I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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