shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
