was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
