I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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