You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
