I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
