Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
