i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
