I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
