She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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