She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
