Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
