so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize