Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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