our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Let's get the cat blown out
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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