I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so let's talk penis.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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