Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
