Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
