I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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