If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
