I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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