I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
