I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
