Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
