I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
