You're so nebulous sometimes
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
