My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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