I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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