Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
