So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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