Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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