it's too hot outside to masturbate.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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