I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
