Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
