His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
