I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
