i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
