She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize