Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
