well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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