She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize