I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
