He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
