OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
