Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Dicks are not precious.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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