Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
