what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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