Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just sent this text using only my big toe
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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