I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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