What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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