It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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