Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
