Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Boobs speak an international language.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
