Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
