I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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