Your face is a jimmy john
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
