dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
