hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
