I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
