That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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