Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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