I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
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