she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
