chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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