i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
