Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
