C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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