I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
