If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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