I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
