where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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