Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
