I only kidnapped one of them. chill
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
