I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize