The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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