If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
